I call my first gay lover "Cowboy." I don't remember his true name, or even if I ever knew it. To me, he's Cowboy because he was a tall, lanky man who seemed as if, were he not seated beside me on a towel spread over his couch, he belonged in boots, chaps, jeans, a flannel shirt, a neckerchief, and, of course, a Stetson. He was ruggedly good-looking, tan, and weathered, with white teeth, brown hair, and blue eyes. I imagine he might have been as good with a six-gun as he was with a lasso. He wanted me to suck his cock.nnHe had as beautiful a prick as one might expect a cowboy to have. It was seven inches, thick, and, like the rest of him, ass as well as chest and legs, tanned by long hours of bathing nude in the sun, probably on his balcony but maybe at the local nude beach as well.nnHe'd had a lover who'd performed oral sex on him on a regular basis, once a week, until, after several years, he'd moved away. Cowboy was looking for a replacement; I was auditioning for the part, although I hadn't known it at the time.nnWe were watching a porn video--heterosexual, not gay. I knew, even then, that I preferred men to women (so much so that I couldn't imagine why any man would choose a woman over another man for his mate, partner, or companion), but watching the naked ladies suck cock and take pricks up their asses (and cunts) was still mildly exciting, especially when I concentrated on the erect penises, imagining that I had switched places with the women who sucked and fucked these thick, hard organs.nnWhile we were watching one of the men fuck a woman in the ass, Cowboy regarded me from the corner of his eye. "I wouldn't want anyone doing that to me," he announced. I wondered whether he was letting me know that he was a top instead of a bottom or whether he was suggesting that he thought anal intercourse was repulsive or whether he was encouraging me to divulge whether I would want anyone (namely, him) to fuck me in the ass. Uncertain of his intention, I kept mum.nnHe spied the erection jutting stiffly from my groin. "It looks like you're ready," he announced.nnThis was my first time, so I felt shy. I nodded, mute and absurd, as he took my cock in his fist and began to masturbate me.