Well, I finally got my sheepskin. I had it made into natural membrane condoms, the oldest type of protection still being used today. Much more comfortable than latex.nnI wasn't even going to attend commencement. Who wants to be bored silly and sweat for two hours? But my father said if I didn't—no graduation present. Dad had promised me a trip to anywhere in the world I wanted to go and a couple thousand dollars for expenses. So I suffered through it and at my party afterwards he gave me the roundtrip ticket from Pittsburgh to Glasgow and the cash. He did whine about it, though, until I pointed out that I could have asked for a new Corvette, like my brother Russell did when he graduated from law school (stay tuned for my next story, "Breastfeeding My Brother").nnForget the Corvette, for now. I desperately wanted to visit Scotland. I had just been to Mazatlan for spring break and I wasn't looking for fun in the sun this time. I have always been interested in genealogy and I discovered from my family tree research that I had Scottish ancestry. No surprise, considering my pale skin and red hair.nnFortunately I had been able to locate a distant cousin on the internet and we exchanged frequent emails. Scotland began to intrigue me more and more as my cousin Hamish spun yarns of lore and legend. I didn't actually believe some of his stories. Like the one that he had been named after a famous biblical character, Ham, the son of Noah. He elaborated on the account in Genesis 9 where Ham uncovered his father Noah's nakedness. Hamish claimed that Ham originated the National Nude Day concept and also invented the sheepskin condom.