Looking back on it now, it's hard to believe that age 27 I had never been fucked by another man. As a kid I'd had the usual sexual experiences with neighborhood boys but it never progressed any further than jacking each other off, or maybe licking another boy's maturing prick. In high school sex with girls was the goal of all the guys. Even so, the sex play with a couple close friends continued; secret and limited by the fear of being labeled a "homo" or a "fag" by the entire school. At college wild partying and keeping up the fraternity image led to sex with quite a few women. Although I occasionally found another guy attractive, or sexually stimulating, I had never taken action on my secret desires. My favorite uncle being banished from my family when he came out to my parents showed me I could never allow myself to be gay.nnI met an incredible woman in college. Following graduation we moved into together and after two years we were married. We had a great sex life; I'd married my best friend and I thought the gay "demons" of my past had been beaten. Almost two years after being married I realized I'd made a big mistake. The fear of being disowned by my family and friends had suppressed any desires for men, but only temporarily. I found myself being attracted to many men - and often those I was attracted to would make passes at me. I began to explore the gay side of myself in bars, bookstores and bath houses. The experiences only made me feel worse about the double life into which I was falling, but I was becoming increasingly aware of the fact I was a gay man.nnAlthough I'd had been jacking off with other men, and had my moments as a cocksuckee and cocksucker, I had never taken a cock up my ass. The thought scared me more than it excited me. Having seen my share of porno movies at a local gay movie theater, I actually thought the scenes of huge hard cocks going into tight little assholes were trick photography. I couldn't image something that big fitting into something so small. It had to be like sticking a square peg into a round hole.